Colder Than The Winter

This another obligatory write up, well I guess its not only an obligation for me to write something this time, but this is more of me trying to distract myself from celebrating my birthday apart from well her. First off, I never experienced winter, there’s no winter here in this part. I’m basing the coldness of winter on how my Canadian ex-girlfriend described it to me and how I see it in the news.

I recently watched a youtube video about how fans stop cheering for our favorite teams (especially if you’re a bandwagon fan), most of the people in the panel were either loyal fans of their favorite local sports team or player fans. During their discussion, Suzy, a lady in the video said that being a fan is a thankless job, its thankless because you have to endure heartaches, frustrations and defeat night in and night out, and to make matters worse is the fact that you still love them and show up live on the arena to cheer them or wake up early to watch them on the television. I guess the same can be said when you’re in a relationship, whether your the man, woman, or a life partner, you have to keep up with your partner’s shortcomings, temper, adjusting to his/her lifestyle, listen to whenever the don’t make sense, make great sacrifices to the point you gave up an interview of a lifetime and stay at a job that you don’t like  etc.

Welcome to my life, I was called immature and she still wouldn’t listen on whatever defense I say. I just wanted to tell her, if I was immature then I would have left her alone in that company, I won’t force myself to drag my sorry ass to work unhappy and unmotivated, and I’m still immature because of my comic books and stuff. I love her still I do, even after what she said.

As I write this I play music on Spotify as the music of The Verve’s Freshmen, Maybe Tomorrow by Stereophonics, Ben Folds Five’s Magic, Glycerin by Bush etc. I want to drown my blues away with the music that reminds me of simple days, I was unaware of what relationships are, and how hard it is to be with someone who is suffering from mental illness. I still love her. I love her very much.

A Year Later

Its been a while since I wrote something, my mind is a little bit woozy or should I say in disarray. I admit I haven’t recovered from the events of the past year, the pain is still there, lingering, haunting me and bothering me.

I tried counselling, I tried ignoring it, but every damn time it just gives me more pain and suffering. Heck, I’ve shown signs of depression, the only thing that keeps me sane or intact is the hope that we’ll be together again, and I pray every single day and I ask God that it happens. I’ll wait no matter how long it takes, no matter how painful it takes and how hard it takes.