Promise Her The Moon

moon
Why am I using a classic Mr. Big song? And why the fuck am I writing? After staring at her for hours as I watched her drifted off to sleep, I felt compelled to. I can’t help go back hours before as we tried to made love in the cold night and the starry skies. I wish the moment would last forever, the warmth of her embrace and the gentleness of her touch. I wished it never ended, and lets say I died in my sleep, I would be at peace knowing that a night with her is my last memory.

I always long to fell her embrace, the moment she wakes up in her slumber. The highlight of my day spending my time with her, no matter how small, even in a matter of seconds, time stand still, the universe stops, God rests. A moment etched in eternity, a moment I wanted for eternity, no, not a moment, but a reality that I wanted. I’d rather spend eternity alone and find her in countless of lifetimes and wait for this exact same moment to happen.

Now that the day has fallen, the dark has enveloped the skies, I can’t help but get out, look at the stars, find the answers, but somehow I end up thinking of despair, grief, and even with those red roses around me. The pavements are much darker, the night winds and even the cigarette as I ponder on things can’t seem to embrace me. I’m broken I guess. I thought I was invincible. brought me down to my knees, begging and hoping, maybe crying. No, not maybe, I am crying as I look up to the heavens waiting for answers, waiting for her.

I felt that at times my words meant nothing, afraid to who I become after dark. I can’t find my way back, back to where I can sit on top of a hill or maybe the mountain with her at my side, and own the universe as we gazed at the stars. Those memories give me strength, hope, but some say hope is for the desperate, but I say hope is for those who have faith, especially to those who took a leap, brave enough to face the challenges of tomorrow. I’ll wait if I have too. take the risk or that leap if I have to, it maybe a fool’s errand but I have to, I will never ever forgive myself if I let her slip away, and even if it takes a thousand lifetimes and generations, I will try to win her back.  She’s to good to be forgotten. She’s to good to be true.

Let Me Drown in You, Did I bring this to myself? Can I get out alive?

A night of uncertainty, what waits beyond the unknown? Is there a reward that awaits the patient or perhaps the horror that waits in the dark. Everyday the unknown consumes me, not as an obsession, but more of a longing, a longing to find the answer from within.

I sat in the hills and stared in the abyss, I closed my eyes and ignored the voices, the things that did not allow the possibility of answering the questions that I long tried finding. I stood up and prepared for the journey, asked myself again what awaits for me beyond the unknown? I suddenly closed my eyes and the streams of possibilities both utopia and a nightmare coursed through my mind. It didn’t give me the answer that I need, instead It created more questions than a possible answer.

I started walking not knowing what awaits me, not minding the possibility of defeat and anguish, not even minding people calling me a fool. The unknown calls me. I intend to forge my own destiny with this journey.

-End of Part I-